Panamanian Pandemonium

Well here we are in what we thought was going to be Paradise…instead we have Pandemonium, which in John Milton’s poem Paradise Lost refers to the capital of Hell. Okay, maybe we aren’t in Hell, but we’re pretty darn close. Let us explain.

As you might remember from last time (unless you didn’t read the last blog post…you know who you are), we flew from San Jose, Costa Rica to Bocas del Toro (Bocas Town), a small bohemian town on the island of Colon, Panama. Probably not made for those who like their creature comforts...like us. Suffice to say, this town is pretty tiny, pretty dirty, and pretty humid. We’re always looking for tiny, not yet discovered towns to try. Bocas del Toro does have its points: for example, there’s a few great little restaurants, a gourmet store run by an American ex-pat that has excellent frozen chicken pot pies and lasagna, and a super air-conditioned dollar-type store.

Tad, the dollar store (BTW, Panama's currency is US Dollars - the inside of Tad's --Sababa, the best falafel restaurant in town (really it's very good)

We’ve got to mention the grocery stores in town too. For a town with a population of a little over 7000, there’s a grocery store on nearly every corner. The ones down by Saigon Bay, like Tony’s Market, where our boat docks, is run by Vietnamese immigrants, the ones closer to the center of town by Panamanians. We have to say though that the choices of food items make us think of home, there’s Herr’s chips, Snyders pretzels, Heinz ketchup, Tanqueray gin, and other familiar brands.

Last post we mentioned that we had a 10–15-minute boat ride from the dock in Bocas Town to our bungalow over the water. Well, when you’re used to shopping each day for that night’s dinner (like we did in Italy and Mexico) having to take the boat ride every day to the hot, humid, and dusty town is a pain. Especially since our ride drops us off at 11 am and then doesn’t pick us up until 2 pm. A couple of days we tried to find a place for lunch (at 11) then hit the dollar store to cool off, before going shopping then making the 2km trek back to the boat. We know, you’re probably saying, “why are they whining, they’re at a bungalow over the water?” Wait, there’s more to come…

The first two days at our bungalow were really nice. The ocean water was warm and clear, and we snorkeled and swam. Also, we accepted the high humidity because it really didn’t bother us until late in the afternoon when the sun was bathing our living room and kitchen. However, after that the storms, came in during the night. These storms brought choppy seas, more humidity, and insects, lots and lots of insects, especially the Ceratopogonidae. As the former biology teacher, John had to use the scientific family name for what’s commonly called no-see-ems or biting midges. They’re called “no-see-ems” because they’re so small it’s almost impossible to “see em.” The little bastards inflict a painful bite when they are active (dawn and dusk). As the natives say, “You can’t see em, but you can feel em!” As we write this (at 11:30 am Sunday) they’re still attacking our arms and legs.

Besides these pesky little critters, we’ve got an unseasonably large crop of mosquitos. Our host told us the skitters only come in July and August, but the little devils made an early debut for John and Nancy. We got very little sleep most nights because of the swarms of skitters in the bedroom and our bathroom. Yesterday our host came to clean the bungalow, and finally believed our claims of mosquito swarms when she was buzz-bombed in the bathroom. Finally, she and her handyman, Ernesto, put up mosquito netting over our bed; we had the best night’s sleep in days.

Today Ernesto sprayed our bathrooms with some poison that’s probably been banned in most first-world countries…we think the container said “DDT.”

Nancy, more so than John, has been itching and scratching for days. Her arms and legs have welts from mosquitos and no see ems. She’s tried Benadryl, mosquito repellant, ice, vinegar, meditation, Xanax, and Vodka (internally not externally), all with little or no help. Poor Nancy, usually the most stoic person is scratching so much that you might be able (from the US) to hear her say, “this place is working my last nerve!”

Nancy's Medications

Oh yea, and our neighbors. Our little house is part of two homes owned by the same people. The first week we were here the house next to us was rented by a nice couple, Mark and Tara and their young daughter Helen. The whole week they were here we never heard a sound from their house. Then they left. The next day, two couples moved in. They seem very nice just very LOUD. From the moment they arrived everything they say is yelled...not yelling in anger, sometimes the yelling breaks out in laughing. They’re very spirited! Right now, as we’re writing this, they’re next-door talking like there is a party going on with at least 10 people when there’s only four. We can hear every word, it’s nonstop and there’s no breaths between one sentence and the next. The only good thing is they go to bed early. Ah, then there’s peace and quiet.

For any of you too young to get the images, these are three pics from the 1950's TV show "The Honeymooners." They were forever yelling, like our neighbors.

Some other little peccadilloes of our paradise are some of the issues with the bungalow itself. For the first few days, we had no hot water. We were told that we did not know how to work the system correctly…one hot faucet and one cold faucet, how much more do you need to know? They finally called a plumber and now the instant hot water heater is set to 90° Centigrade…for you Fahrenheit folks, that’s about 190°…pretty darn hot. Water at that temperature can cause first and second-degree burns. But wait, the story isn’t over yet. Now, we get scalding hot water for maybe 20 seconds and then ice-cold water. John tried to shave yesterday and turned on the hot water…nothing, so he started shaving with the hot tap still turned on. After a few strokes he went to put the razor under the tap to rinse off the shaving cream. The water was so hot, he dropped the razor in the sink. Then he turned on the cold water to equalize the temperature and the hot disappeared altogether. So, the upshot is no hot (or even warm) showers for Nancy and John until we get to the Marriott at the San Jose airport at the end of this trip.

Speaking of hot showers, we’ve decided to decamp early. Our original plan had us leaving Thursday April 13, but with this change of plan we’re leaving on Thursday the 6th. We’ll head back to San Jose Airport and on back to the USA the next day. We’ll catch up with family, doctors, and dentists before we head out again.

Hey, but before we go, we can't leave without telling you about some of the nice things about this place. One of the greatest things was the stars the first few nights we were here. With no clouds (before the storms) and a waning moon we could see thousands of stars. The water here has been crystal clear, you could see the fish swimming, and there were all kinds of interesting aquatic life. And, the sunsets those first few days were amazing, all different colors and beautiful. And lastly, the people we met in the restaurants in town were friendly and very helpful. Not all things here have been bad...it's just more fun to relate the bad things.

Just to keep you informed, our next scheduled nomadic adventure is a cross-country tour of the USA, which we plan to begin soon after getting back. Our original idea for this cross-country adventure was to drive our Mini Cooper convertible (for the fun of it) from the Philly area across the country, but that too has changed. We’ll probably fly to somewhere out west, rent a car, go se John’s grandchildren, and then tour the northwest United States. More on this in a later installment.

This might be our last installment for a while. We’ll let you know when we head out west.

So, for now, keep smiling…you could be here with us in our Panamanian Pandemonium!

John and Nancy